Last stand
by Blixe Cobalt
Summary: more greatness...review it
1. Chapter 1: Last Stand

LAST STAND  
  
Place: sector 7 slums  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy or any of its characters so go and screw a dog  
  
In the slums of Midgar, a young man is about to embark on a journey to save the planet from the evil Shin-Ra. Tyler is on PHS trying to get in touch with Nate.  
  
Tyler: Damn it's busy  
  
Just then the PHS rings, it in fact is Nate. Tyler hops on his chocobo, talking to Nate at the same time.  
  
Tyler: Hello?  
  
Nate: Hey. I got the letter about rebelling against Shin-Ra, and count me in. Those sumbitch Shin-Ra stole my girlfriend Elena.  
  
Tyler: Allrighty  
  
Nate: Lets get wasted  
  
Tyler: Allrighty  
  
Tyler hangs up and they meet at Tifas 7th heaven  
  
Tifa: Can I get you two a drink?  
  
The sheer beauty of Tifa overwhelms Tyler  
  
Nate: I'll take 7 margaritas, 4 fallen angels, 12 Mako drinks and what will you have Tyler.Tyler?  
  
Tyler is staring and drooling at Tifa's breasts.  
  
Tifa then procedes to smack him silly.  
  
Tyler: Sorry.  
  
Tifa: You Damn PERVERT!!! GET OUT!!!\  
  
Tyler gets up and starts walking towards the door.  
  
Tyler: Lets go Nate. the reactor waits.  
  
Nate: But my drink!!!  
  
Tifa stops them after hearing the comment about the reactor.  
  
Tifa: You two are going to the reactor?  
  
Tyler: yeah fuck Shin-Ra!  
  
Barrett overhears this and lets them join Avalanche if they blow the reactor by themselves with the help of Jessie of course  
  
And so the story unfolds what will happen stay tuned! 


	2. Chapter 2: Forgotten Memories

Chapter 2: Forgotten memories  
  
Place: Train heading for the reactor  
  
Nate is looking pretty bummed out so Tyler goes over to console him  
  
Tyler: Hey man, what's wrong?  
  
Nate: I was just thinking. what are they doing to Elena???  
  
Tyler: Most likely brainwashing, I heard that they needed a new Turk.  
  
Nate: How do you know all this stuff?  
  
Tyler: Don't be silly; I grew up in Shin-Ra. My dad was in soldier  
  
Nate: Really? I thought you he died at your birth.  
  
Tyler: I lied; I grew up around the Great Glacier area. There was this great scientist named Dr. Gast there, he had a wife who was an ancient. Ifalna I think, well anyway they had a little girl named Aries, and everything was peachy until one day.  
  
Nate: So you want revenge?  
  
Tyler: No nothing that petty, I just want to find my father. and Kill Him!  
  
Nate: Why what he do?  
  
Tyler: He was created by Dr Hojo, the guy who killed Dr. Gast and took Aries and Ifalna hostage, he.  
  
Nate: go on.  
  
Tyler: My dad tried to kill so many when he found this out, but two people stopped this, Tifa.  
  
Nate: You mean bartender Tifa. holy Cow!  
  
Tyler: and some kid named Cloud Strife they stopped him when I couldn't  
  
Nate: Who is Cloud?  
  
Tyler: I don't know, maybe Tifa does. But lets focus on the mission at hand  
  
The two jump out of the train and run up the platform; two sentries come out to stop them.  
  
A Battle Ensues.  
  
The First Guard runs at Tyler firing off a sleep attack but he dodges it. Tyler than summons out Carbuncle (A/N I know Carbuncle is not in ff7 but he is my favorite so deal with it!) who puts up a wall around Tyler and Nate. Ante then runs and punches the guard in the face with the brass knuckles he has on and the guard gets knocked unconsios. Tyler casts a Fire3 spell on the two and the two guards die. (Victory Music plays)  
  
Tyler: What the hell is that..??  
  
Nate: I dunno just dance  
  
The two dance for a little then run into the reactor, but will they make it, stay tuned to find out on next weeks  
  
Last Stand!!! 


	3. Chapter 3: Explosions

Chapter 3: Explosions  
  
Tyler and Nate head into the reactor and finally catch up with Jessie. They get to the first security lock and Tyler gets confused.  
  
Tyler: Jessie, can you open that?  
  
Jessie: No problem, you two just focus on planting the bomb.  
  
Tyler: That's coo.  
  
Tyler and Nate run into the elevator and wait for Jessie who runs in and the elevator closes.  
  
Jessie: Tyler, push that switch over there.  
  
Tyler pushes it and the elevator starts going. Tyler and Nate start talking about the bomb and stuff. The elevator stops at the floor of the reactor, the two get off slide down a few poles and eventually get to their destination. Tyler reaches down to plant the bomb all of a sudden there is a ringing in his ears and that voice that tells him to watch out. Tyler plants the bomb and a big scorpion mech and I'm talking huge here falls down from the ceiling.  
  
A Battle Ensues.  
  
Tyler is caught off guard so he doesn't have time to draw his sword before BAM! Smacked right in the face by one of the legs. Nate runs up and starts to beat up on the boss but to apparently no avail. Tyler then gets his Limit Break and proceeds to do am attack similar to the renzuzoken (Squalls Limit Break in FF8*) and big bad scorpion starts to malfunction. But he is somehow healing himself!! Tyler notices a restore materia stuck in-between the mech toes. Tyler runs into the underbelly and pries at the materia with his sword, which is eventually shaken loose, but it makes a beeline for Nate's head! It smacks Nate in the head, causing him to get his Limit Break so Nate morphs into a mole type creature and does karate on his scorpion a. The guard scorpion falls down to his knees and does a tail laser attack before eventually dying.  
  
Tyler and Nate run to the elevator, grabbing Jessie on the way, they make it out just before BOOM!!!!! The reactor blows up, taking the bridge out with it. Will Tyler make it back to sector 7? Find out on next weeks  
  
LAST STAND!  
  
Ending theme music plays.  
  
(I hope you have enjoyed the series so far. If you want any certain thing included or excluded ahem Aries death tell me. THANX) 


	4. Chapter 4: The Arrival

Chapter 4: The Arrival  
  
Tyler and Nate just barely made it out of the reactor alive, if it weren't for Tyler, Jessie would be dead now. Jessie sets another bomb to destroy the path that the team took, and the group splits up and heads for the train.  
  
Tyler accidentally runs into a flower girl and knocks her over  
  
Flower Girl: ouch, that hurt. I'm ok, hey you, what was that noise?  
  
Tyler: you look familiar, (could you be Aries? No she is at Shin-Ra).. that noise was nothing really.  
  
Flower Girl: would you like to buy a flower, only 1 gil.  
  
Tyler: yeah sure, I'd love to  
  
Tyler hands over the gil and takes the flower, the flower girl walks away. Tyler heads south toward the tracks but is stopped buy one of the reactor guards.  
  
Guard: STOP!!!!  
  
Tyler runs to the tracks and hears the train coming, so he jumps onto the train and works his was to the place where Jessie and Nate are waiting. He opens the door to the compartment and he immediately sees Nate, getting wasted.  
  
Tyler: Not again  
  
Nate: hiccup** what? Yoush were going to wait?  
  
Jessie: Lets go to the cabin; we should keep our identities intact.  
  
The three go into the cabin  
  
Jessie: Tyler come here, I want to show you something.  
  
Just then a map of the rail system pops up and Jessie gives the lecture about the rail system. The train finally gets to sector 7 slums, so the trio gets out. Tyler tells Nate to head for the bar, so Nate runs off to you know where. Tyler then sees a young spiky-haired boy sitting buy the platform; he then gets a really bad headache and blacks out  
  
Place Tyler's subconscious  
  
Tyler awakens in a dark room with his father, who starts to draw his sword and attack the cells around him, Tyler then sees Tifa, next to. the spiky hair! That must be cloud thinks Tyler. He then awakens to see Tifa standing over him  
  
Tifa: I heard all went well. you are now one of us, barret has your pay on him, Nate told me that you thought you knew me. The more I think about it, you do look familiar, like an old love or something, but I don't remember completely, also reactor 5 is our next target, we got you some help. A guy I used to know named cloud, he is pretty good at fighting you may find him useful.  
  
Tyler: Cloud??? You mean Cloud Strife??? I know him, or I should say I've heard of him from my dad.  
  
Nate: hey mann,, you've gotta try this stuff, it really messes you up.  
  
Tyler: SHUT UP im talking to the sexy bartender!  
  
Tifa is shocked by this comment, but before she can react, cloud walks in  
  
Cloud: ughh! What you son, here? What!!!  
  
Tifa: cloud are you alright?  
  
Cloud: I'm fine, he guess what, we leave tommorow we will be back hopefully.  
  
Just then a big black guy in a trench coat walks in, Tyler reaconizes him immediately to be a old high-school buddy named Taurean  
  
Taurean: hey man is that you? Tyler  
  
The two buddys get up and do a weird dance and start screaming out lemonsuckers lemonsuckers we are the best, we like staring at those breasts!  
  
The other three give them a odd look. Taurean joins up with Tyler and the four head for the train, but who wont make it back, find out next week on,  
  
LAST STAND!!!!  
  
Please review, this is a good story I think, and you should review it because its kinda sad that we only have 4 reviews and two are from us, oh well. 


	5. Chapter 5: And Then There Were Three

Chapter 5: And Then There Were Three  
  
Tyler, Nate, Taurean, and Cloud are on the train heading for the reactor #5 when all of a sudden the alarm for unauthorized passengers goes off. The group makes there way to the front of the train where Jessie instructs them to jump off. They do so and get out right before the next chec0  
  
.0kpoint, Tyler looks around surveying the scene when he sees a maintenance hatch near the infrared beams, Tyler convinces the group to jump through, saying "It's the only way" They soon encounter some more reactor grunts with a materia sweeper  
  
A battle Ensues:  
  
Tyler and Cloud both pull out their sword at the same time, and nodding to each other, they perform a move similar to X-Strike (ala the chrono series), which devastates the materia sweeper and shocks their allies,  
  
Taurean: What the. how'd you do that? You were like twins almost, actually the more I think about it, you do look similar,  
  
Nate: Don't even think that, he told me his life story, he has no siblings, but he did know Cloud, or per say, he knew of Cloud  
  
Cloud: What? So that's what the vision meant, so you're his son, eh?  
  
Tyler: The person who I know as "dad" is none other than Sephiroth, your enemy  
  
The reactor grunts sit down to play cards.  
  
Cloud: Then you get the headaches also?  
  
Tyler: If you mean does the planet speak to me, then yes it does.  
  
Cloud: Hey look, we may be allies now, but if we ever run into your dad, I get to hump him  
  
Tyler: Excuses me?  
  
Cloud: I get to kill him.  
  
Tyler: That's not what you said.  
  
Cloud: yes it is.  
  
Tyler: (ala Dr. Evil) right.  
  
Reactor Guard 1: Bingo!!!  
  
The group turns around noticing the guards, which give each other that oh no look.  
  
Tyler proceeds to kill both the guards with his limit break "Blade Beam" which surprises Cloud since he has the same Limit Break.  
  
The group head to the reactor and sets the bomb. They get to the platform where they are ambushed by grunts, Tyler notices president of Shin-Ra come down the exit, which prompts Cloud to chase after him, Taurean notices something coming, so he runs toward the guards, with The other three trapped on the other side of it.  
  
A Battle Ensues.  
  
Tyler and Cloud do the X-Strike, which prompts the mech to turn around and counter-attack. Taurean seizes this opportunity to slice at the mech with his water-based claws. For those of you who don't know, water short- circuits mech, thus the mech blows up, but wait, Taurean is hanging off the edge, but he can't get up! He falls off when the reactor blows sending his crashing into the slums below  
  
Will Taurean be ok? Or will we have lemon sucker pancakes? Find out next time on  
  
Last Stand!  
  
(a/n Tyler has been writing the story so far, but Taurean will be coming with his own story soon which I guarantee will be great, also Reviews are welcome, check our profile for stories on us yadda yadda, now go to sleep like a good little boy) 


	6. Chapter 6: Taureans Journey

Chapter 6: Taurean's Journey  
  
Taurean had just been blown off the reactor, he is knocked out by the fall, but he is not dead. He awakens to see a girl hovering over him. Who he just happened to know from childhood, Aries.  
  
Aries: Hello Taurean, nice entrance. People usually use something called a door.  
  
Taurean: huh? Where the hell am I?  
  
Aries: you are in sector 6 slums, I doubt you could realize who I am though.  
  
Taurean: you're Aries, my old friend, your as pretty as ever.  
  
Aries: your just flattering me,  
  
Taurean: no, no, no, I'm serious. But I do need to get back to sector 7 slums, the gang must be worried sick about me.  
  
Aries: sector 7 is a little ways from here, you'll have to go through the cave to the park, but stay at my house overnight.  
  
Just then some soldier's bust in with Reno.  
  
Reno: don't mind me, I just came for the girl.  
  
Aries: no not again!  
  
Reno: stand back, I know kung fu  
  
Taurean: well I know nigga please  
  
Reno and Taurean take out there weapons, glare each other down and start to fight when Aries mentions it's a church and they should take it outside. they do  
  
A Battle Ensues  
  
Taurean rushes at Reno with his claws and gets one good swipe in before Reno does it, encases him in a pyramid. This cues Aries to attack the pyramid with her staff, but Taurean gets his limit break, Slice and Dice (ala Tidus in FFX), which causes Reno to collapse.  
  
Taurean and Aries start running toward the exit to sector 7 but they see Cloud and Tyler chasing Tifa in a chocobo drawn cart. Taurean chases after him and Aries is dragging behind. The 5 meet up with each other and Tifa tells them what is wrong, Don Coreno is looking for a bride, and Tifa needs information from him, Tyler comes up with the idea that the group should be the girls bodyguard, but Aries says that Coreno has three women at a time, so one of them has to dress up like a girl. Cloud willingly volunteers. The "girls" head off to get clothes, Tyler and Taurean head to the inn to get some shut eye  
  
Taurean: Hey, where is Nate?  
  
Tyler: where else? Getting wasted with Barret  
  
Taurean: I see, we got a big day ahead of us, lets go to bed, its late.  
  
Scene: Tifa 7th heaven.  
  
We see Nate with 4 empty kegs around him and he is guzzling the fifth, until he passes out on the bar.  
  
Well that's that kiddos, but we still have a way to go, will Tyler realize who Aries is? What is up with Cloud?  
  
And what information does Tifa need?  
  
Find out on next times.  
  
Last Stand  
  
(a/n I hope you enjoy the story so far, but coming up is a very disturbing chapter, be afraid, be very afraid.) 


	7. Chapter 7: Thats Revolting!!!

Chapter 7: That's Revolting!  
  
Cloud, Aries, and Tifa head into wall market to find clothes, they walk into a clothes shop and find out the only way to get Cloud a dress is to talk to the guy at the bar. They go there but first, Cloud is hungry. They stop in a café and order the special, Mako Fried Rice. It tastes like dog manure but Cloud keeps his comments to himself. They get a pharmacy coupon and Cloud decides to use it on some digestive. Since that meal was horrible. He takes half of it and decides to save the rest. They get to the bar and instantly see Nate, wasted as usual, slouched up against the bar. They scan around for the father of the dress shop worker, and find him, Cloud talks to him and orders a silk dress. The shopkeeper writes this down, asking for his measurements. Cloud answers 3 ½ x ½ around. The shopkeeper looks up realizes that Cloud is a man, and tells Cloud that he only makes women clothes. Aries chimes in saying that Cloud wanted to try something different. The shopkeeper tells him that he will do it, but he will need a little while. Cloud tells Nate that Tyler is at the inn. So Nate goes there. Cloud walks into the restroom, not noticing that there is someone in there, she yells at him. Cloud gives this bitchy lady the digestive and she rewards him with some Nice perfume, to bad it smelled like vomit. Cloud goes to the honeybee hotel and sees Nate outside walking in. He follows, and Nate tells him what kind of place this is. Cloud says that he will take the group room, noticing the sign overhead, (Men only! Bro!) Nate looks at one of the rooms, the @#&! Room, and goes on in. Tyler stumbles into the honeybee in and sees all the doors are locked, he hears Nate pleasuring a woman, out of nowhere he hears a group of men and Clouds voice from the group room, he runs back to the hotel crying. I did x-strike with a gay. No wonder he keeps looking at my @$$! After Cloud is done, he puts on some makeup in the dressing room. Cloud Tifa and Aries are now ready, and Tyler Taurean and Nate acting as the bodyguards, what will happen? Will they get let in? Who will be chosen, why is Cloud gay?  
  
Find out next time on  
  
Last stand 


	8. Chapter 8: Coreno's Mansion

Chapter 8: Coreno Mansion  
  
The party heads into Don Coreno's mansion. To Tifa's surprise, they have no problem getting in. The Don welcomes his new visitors with open arms, and lines our "heroines" up in a line. Just then, a dating game set falls down and a screen separates the group from the Don (dating game music plays)  
  
Don: Lady #1. Why do you want to be with me tonight?  
  
Tifa: There is something I need to ask you, and I want to do it in private  
  
Don: ooohh. Lady #2 where do you hail from?  
  
Aries: From Sector 6 slums.  
  
Don: Lady #3, what is the biggest word in the English language?  
  
Cloud: That's simple, its antidisestablishmentarianism silly.  
  
Don: well I like a smart girl, and I smell her perfume so, #3 it is, the other two can be "escorted" by my guards.  
  
Cloud walks into the Don's room as Tifa and Aries get shoved out by the guards, Tyler and Nate head to where Tifa is and Taurean goes to where Aries is. Tyler runs faster than Nate, so he blazes into the "holding cell" and sees a guard trying to manhandle Tifa  
  
Tyler: OH NO YOU DON'T!!  
  
A Battle Ensues  
  
Tyler whips out his sword and before you know it, the guard starts shooting at Tyler. He deflects the bullets but one hits Nate in the arm. Nate goes down in a heap of terror, as Tyler gets really pissed and performs his final limit break, Dieyousummabitchbinladen. The guard is now splattered all across the room and of course, the trippy battle win music plays. Everybody gets up and dances, even Tifa and Nate. who is fine because the dumb guard was shooting rubber bullets, after a quick cure from Tyler, Nate hears Aries scream and the sound of metal on metal action (for once its not a sexual reference) The three of them run into the other room to see Taurean doing some whoop ass on the mech places up by the Don. Tyler sees a cable from the mech back connected to a huge knife, dangling above Aries.  
  
Tyler: Don't kill it just yet, if it falls, Aries dies, and Cloud has all the phoenix downs!  
  
Taurean: Take over then; the self-destruct sequence has been activated  
  
Tyler: Hurry up and save Aries then.  
  
Tyler is furiously casting cure3 spells on the mech, but to no avail. When it only has 10 seconds left. Taurean hasn't freed Aries yet.  
  
10  
  
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The giant knife falls but Taurean dives underneath it and it barely misses Aries, only because it went right through Taurean. But just then a humongous bird flies out and revives Taurean. The party runs into the Dons room to see the Don giving Cloud Anal.  
  
Cloud: This isn't what it looks like, umm. I'm not gay! Gee Tifa, your breasts are quite large from this angle.  
  
Tyler proceeds to beat the shit out of Cloud (literally)  
  
Cloud: My, my Aries. I can see up your skirt from here.  
  
Taurean proceeds to beat the shit out of Cloud ninja style.  
  
Cloud: Wow Nate.  
  
Nate: Stop right there!!!  
  
The group turns to the Don  
  
Tifa: Tell us what we want to know, or I'll rip them off  
  
Don: I don't know anything!  
  
Tyler: Tell us or, ill cut them off  
  
Don (sweat drop) I don't know nothing!  
  
Cloud: Tell us. or I'll lick them. (Nate whispers something to him) oh were talking about his facial hair. what? I said what?(whispering again) No I'm not gay!  
  
Don: Ok. Ok, I know that sector 7 is about to be crushed, Shin-Ra will drop the plate, but you will never get there in time. Cause im taking you out, where you belong. The SEWERS!  
  
The don pushes a button and our hero's fall to the bottom of a pit.  
  
Are they ok? Is Cloud coming out of the closet? Where does the pit lead? Find out on next times.  
  
Last Stand  
  
I really want your opinions on this, Considering the chapter length and where I am in the game ( the story) we might be here all night folks. Chapters 9 & 10 are in the works. Have a nice day!!!  
  
Remember: REVIEW for the love of god! 


	9. Chapter 9: Who could of flushed that?

Chapter 9: Who could of flushed that?  
  
Our hero's fall was all but short lived. Tifa and Aries were knocked out and Taurean and Tyler were badly injured, but nothing a little cure spell couldn't fix.  
  
Nate: Hey, Cloud. I'm glad your all right, but. WOULD YOU PLEASE GET OFF MY ASS!!!  
  
Cloud: umm. (Stalling) sure right away boss.  
  
Tyler: Is everybody ok?  
  
Tifa and Aries: .  
  
Taurean and Tyler: Oh no. we will have to give them CPR!  
  
Tifa and Aries are actually perfectly fine. and conscious. Tyler and Taurean start to administer CPR but Tifa and Aries reach up and kiss them.  
  
Tifa: you saved our lives  
  
Aries: and you seem to defend us a lot  
  
Tyler and Taurean: (ala Johnny Bravo) oh mama  
  
Nate watches on with disgust but he thinks back to the days he and Elena were going out. All the while cloud is in the corner jacking off.  
  
Tyler turns around to see what Cloud is doing  
  
Tyler: Fuck man, do that in private! That's disgusting!  
  
Cloud: oops sorry  
  
Just then a big snake like creature falls from the ceiling It is Aps.  
  
A Battle Ensues  
  
Tyler enraged by what Cloud was doing gets a limit break; he decides to hold off until later in the battle. Nate runs at the Aps and casts a lightning attack at it, damaging it severely, but he steps in some poo-poo  
  
Nate: of all the places.  
  
Tifa does a double tech with Tyler entitles BinLadenscanlickmysweatynutsack! Which seems to destroy it.  
  
The group starts to walk away but. The Aps starts to stir. It gets up and starts chasing them through the sewer. The party reaches a ladder and then starts to climb it when they are attacked by a big tidal wave of shit. They make it just up the ladder, but now they are trapped in the train graveyard.  
  
What awaits them here?  
  
Can love really bloom in the battlefield?  
  
Will Cloud keep his pants on?  
  
Find out next time on  
  
Last stand!  
  
Good night everybody! 


	10. Chapter 10: Endless Staircase

Chapter 10: Endless stairs  
  
The group of Cloud, Aries, Taurean, Tyler, Nate, and Tifa journey on towards sector 7. Not knowing what will happen in the "train graveyard" the group runs as fast as they can towards the train station. They make it there without any trouble; just a few battles here and there. When they get to the train station, Tifa remembers that Barret and Marlene are still at the bar!  
  
Scene: Tifa's 7th heaven.  
  
Tyler gets to the bar first to see Barret drunk as a sailor on arbor day (don't ask) in fact he is dressed like a sailor! Marlene is behind the counter, making drinks for "papa". Tifa tells Aries to look after Marlene and get her out of there. Barret hearing of what Shin-Ra is about to do. Tells all of AVALANCHE to get up on the tower holding the plate up. Cloud, Tyler, Nate, and Taurean run after Barret. They get to the top of the endless staircase and see Reno putting in the detonation codes. Tyler tries to stop the bomb but it has a failsafe mechanism on it!  
  
Reno: Your too late. Payback time for at the church Tyler… or should I say, Zack?  
  
Tyler: What are you talking about? Zack died 5 years ago. You have him on display at Shin-Ra!  
  
Reno: oh right… sorry about that Tyler… can you forgive me?  
  
Tyler: …  
  
A Battle Ensues…  
  
Reno casts his bastard of a pyramid attack at Tyler, but is blocked by Carbuncle and reflected right back at him. Tyler, confused as to why carbuncle would pop out on his own, Attacks Reno with his new limit break: (here it is folks) ihateyoubinladenbecauseyouaresuchadoofusandhereyouarecorruptingouryouthmakin gthatboyinfloridaflyintothatbuidingwheredoyougetoffmisterimeanreallyhidingou tincaveswhydontyoujustfightlikeamanilltakeyouonsinglehandedlyyouoldcoot! (Now that that's out of my system! Sweat drop**) which confuses Reno because the name is like three lines long and it fills the screen choking Reno until he passes out and that freaky battle music plays some more and everybody dances, even drunken sailor Barret and Gay Cloud and the plate which is about to fall…  
  
Anyways, The plate is falling and Aries tells Barret that Marlene is safe. Right after Tsung bitch slaps her. The all climb on to one little rope. Cloud climbs on barret and (cant go any further with that, it is pg13 you know) the group swings down to the little playground in the sand.  
  
What will happen next?  
  
What is Tyler's next terrorist hating limit break?  
  
Who is jimmy dean?  
  
Find 2 out of 3 of these answers next time.  
  
This is getting old  
  
  
  
(A/n may I recommend a anime for all of my readers… Neon Genesis Evangelion Kicks Angel ass! 


	11. Chapter 11: Surfacing Memories

Chapter 11: Surfacing Memories  
  
Barret, Cloud, Nate, and Taurean were sitting down looking at Tifa and Tyler. They had been sitting there for an hour and neither of them had moved.  
  
Tifa: So what did Reno mean by… "For what you did at the church?"  
  
Tyler: A couple years back… we were good friends… we went to the same church. One day I had heard rumors that he had killed my younger brother… Karou… anyway, one thing led to another… and well let's just say he can't reproduce anymore.  
  
Tifa: I had no idea… the groups waiting, lets go.  
  
Tifa and Tyler walk over to the group… Barret and Cloud are in the background talking.  
  
Nate: Heeeeey. Were by Wall Market… HONEYBEE INN HERE I COME  
  
Tyler: I don't think so Nate… We gotta go and rescue whatsherface  
  
Taurean: (sadly) Aries…  
  
Tyler and Nate: ARIES!!!  
  
Taurean: Why are you so surprised?  
  
Tyler: How could I be so stupid? We really have to get her now. If we want to live that is.  
  
Nate: Wha???  
  
Tyler: Aries is an ancient remember… Shin-Ra is after the ancients remember… If we don't find her, we are all fucked!  
  
Barret: (from afar) I AINT NO DAMN PINCESS FOO!!!!!  
  
The group turns around to see what in the @#$! Is going on over there. Barret turns angrily at Cloud " Can I kill him… can I huh please!"  
  
Tyler: No Barret… we need him for bate… (Glancing over) FUCK MAN I DIDN'T SAY MASTERBATE!!!  
  
Cloud: sorry  
  
Our party heads into wall market  
  
Nate: I'll check the bar!  
  
Tyler: I don't think so…  
  
Cloud: I'll check Coreno Mansion!!  
  
All: I don't think so!  
  
Barret then notices a group of kids running towards the area directly underneath Shin-Ra They follow and Barret proclaims this the "Golden Shiny wire of Hope"  
  
Tyler: ………  
  
Cloud: Bad analogy Barret.  
  
Tyler (interrupting) but I know how you feel.  
  
Cloud: what… I was just thinking that!  
  
Nate: (from afar) Damn she is flexible  
  
Tyler looks over and realizes that Nate is looking at a Hentei Dojinshi  
  
Tyler: NATE STOP THAT  
  
Nate: Sorry  
  
The party climbs up a disarray of pipes, track, and old Hentei Dojinshi's… Nate mind you, picks up every last one of em'  
  
Tyler gets up there first and realizes that this could be the planets… LAST STAND!  
  
Tune in next time for a special crossover guest appearance … finds out whom.  
  
(R&R R&R R&R R&R) 


	12. Chapter 12: Its all fun and games until ...

Chapter 12:  
  
Its all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out  
  
Tyler waited for Nate and Taurean before making any rash moves. The rest of the party gets to the platform at about the same time.  
  
Nate: Shit son, were in some deep shit now!  
  
Barret: Lets bust right in!  
  
Tifa: NO! It's to dangerous…lets split up.  
  
Tyler: Good Idea, Tifa and Taurean…your with me on this one.  
  
Barret: Nate and me will take the front door.  
  
Tyler and the two others run around back and find a service elevator, right next to a humongous flight of steps. (For anyone who took Tifa's advice that would be funny) Barret and Nate run in the front door and are meted with a horde of enemy sentry. Tyler pushes the up button, the elevator goes up at least 50 floors before it suddenly goes haywire and starts to drop. A huge robot suddenly stops the elevator. Tyler looks up and sees that it is none other than Evangelion Unit 1. Unit 1 puts the elevator down and the entry plug shoots out. Out steps none other than Shinji Ikari  
  
Tyler: Holy shit dude!  
  
Shinji: Where am I?  
  
Tyler: Midgar…thanks for saving us back there…  
  
Shinji: Last thing I remember is being sucked into the 12th angel.  
  
Tyler: Just get back in your Eva and you will go back to tokyo3.  
  
After this exchange, Tyler and Tifa start to walk towards the steps. Taurean just stands there with his jaw on the ground, as Eva unit 1 disappears into thin air. Taurean walks to the staircase and is met with at least 40 guards.  
  
Tyler: I hope the other two are doing better…where is Cloud anyways.  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
Nate furiously casts a bio attack on the attacking guards, taking out all but one of them. This guard runs over to a switch and pushes a button, making a mech fall from the ceiling.  
  
Guard: We call this one, Materia Roulette. The mech is loaded with 8 materias…fire, ice, bolt, quake, mini, cure, bio, and death…it will randomly cast one of these at either you or itself, do you feel lucky?  
  
Barret: Enough of this jibba-jabba foo! Lets bust it up!  
  
A Battle Ensues:  
  
Immediately, the materia starts to spin, it land on cure, a second wheel with three slots starts to spin, and on the screen comes Barret's face. Barret is then hit with a cure attack. The wheels start to spin again and the result this time is…Quake…on Materia Roulette!  
  
Nate: If it keeps this up, we will win in no time!  
  
As Nate is talking…the materia roulette casts cure on Nate. Nate and Barret attack the mech. doing no apparent damage. The wheels start to spin again and the mech casts bio on itself. Being poisoned, it goes berserk and casts Ice on itself and Barret, which freezes its computer. The two take this time to attack the mech. The materia roulette is now back online, retaliates with a bolt attack, hitting Nate. Nate then counter attacks the boss. Barret follows suit and knocks some of the materia out of place. This causes the mech to cast the only remaining spell it has left…Death, which is aimed at Barret. Barret succumbs to the reaper and Nate…seeing this casts reflect in himself, wondering why he did not think of this earlier. Just then, an old man with a long beard and a staff walks in.  
  
Nate: Get out of here unless you wanna die!  
  
Old Man: Such courage…such bravery…I will join you and your friends on your quest.  
  
Nate: Lets see what you got!  
  
The old man starts to chant and suddenly he rises off the ground, and lightning shoots out of his staff. Destroying the mech.  
  
Nate: whoa, who are you?  
  
Old Man: Call me Rumah…I will join you now.  
  
Rumah disappears in a puff of smoke and turns into a red materia. Nate picks it up…just then, outside we can here a helicopter land, and Cloud gets out of it and yells. Thanks for the ride Don. Nate shakes his head, and revives Barret with a phoenix down. The Three, Cloud Barret and Nate. head up the elevator.  
  
What will happen to them?  
  
Is Tyler's group safe?  
  
Find out next time on  
  
LAST STAND!  
  
(A/N I know it has been a while since my last post, but I have had the block. You know how that is right. Well. Expect to be bombarded with more. –Tyler) 


	13. Chapter 13: It's terrorist hating limit ...

Chapter 13: Terrorist hating limit break time!  
  
Guards surround Tyler, Tifa, and Taurean, and the only choice is for them to fight. Tyler immediately casts a firaga spell, killing several of the guards. Tifa jumps up on Taurean's shoulders, and jumps off flying into the guards, killing several. Tyler glances at Taurean and sees that he is happy.  
  
Tyler: Ahh…dude! How could you?  
  
Taurean: Sorry bro, it was just…there!  
  
Tifa: Pervert!!!  
  
Tifa slaps Taurean and then is hit by an enemy fire attack  
  
Tifa: ackhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Tyler seeing this, gets a limit break, he uses it, it is called…(here it is folks) youknowthewaythingsareintheworldtodayyouwouldthinkweallcouldjustgetalongbutn oooooothisassholeusammabinladenisallupinourbusinessitisnowthe6monthanneverer yof911andithinkmostofushavegottenoveritbutbinladenmustdiedidyouseethepillars oflightthatwereshiningyesterdayinnyc?isawitinthepaper.Heycheckoutmyotherstor ieslastchancesandtylersrandomthoughtsitiskindalikethisexeptforithasspaceswel ltimetogetbacktobattleseeyafolks!  
  
This kills every guard. Tyler and the group get to the top of the stairwell with a little help from Greg the bunny… (Don't ask) and find Nate, Barret, and Cloud standing there, huffing.  
  
Tyler: what is wrong?  
  
Nate: Barret and me just fought a tough boss  
  
Tyler: then, why is Cloud panting?  
  
Barret: this foo was hanging out with Don Coreno  
  
Tyler: That is it! Cloud, no more gayness or your off of the team!  
  
Cloud: Ok, ok…there is one last thing, I met this person on the way up, can I at least say goodbye?  
  
Tyler: yeah sure, whatever  
  
Cloud: Hey Andy!!!  
  
Tyler: ANDY???  
  
A young boy walks in and goes to Cloud. Tyler sees his brother and "accidentally" hit him with his sword.  
  
Tyler: oops.did I do THAT (hits him again) I really did not MEAN (hits again) to! I am so SORRY (and again) my BAD (again)  
  
Cloud: you killed him  
  
Tyler: so?  
  
Cloud: but…but…but  
  
Tifa: lets go  
  
The group starts to walk to the 59th floor, but cloud is just standing there not believing what he just saw.  
  
Where will our hero's quest take them now?  
  
Find out next time!  
  
A/n I really hope you like the terrorist hating limit break, although it only hates on terrorist a little 


	14. Chapter 14: Anal bum covers ARE useful

Here we go Chapter 14: Anal bum covers are useful!  
  
Tyler looks into his pack and realizes that he does not have any elixirs. The group goes into the store and shop around. Tyler sees some monitor out of the corner of his eye. He walks over and activates the switch.  
  
~On screen~ Presenting to you from Lemonsuckers Inc. The all-new anal bum cover! This addition is lightweight and will prevent anal raping. Many prisoners agree that this is a must have. For the low low cost of 100 gil apiece, you can have one. Or three!  
  
Tyler thinks about it and buys three, why only three? Because Cloud would like it, and Barret would throw him helluva far.  
  
The group, bum covers in hand set off to the 59th floor. Tyler peeks around a corner and sees three guards, one flashing about a keycard. Tyler then does the unexpected.  
  
"I surrender!" Yells Tyler to the guards "WHAT" is the simultaneous reaction from everybody. The guards arrest the group. They take the others to the prison, but escort Tyler to the presidents' office. "Hey guys, don't forget the anal.muphugmum" The guards were knocking out Tyler  
  
Tyler awoke in chains. He was being held in front of the president.  
  
"Welcome troublemaker.I see that you have realized you cant beat me! "I will join you.if you let Aries go!" "You are making requests? Why would I want to do that when I can just have you both?" "What?" asked Tyler. "Let me introduce to you the first three members of my new task force, who you will soon be joining!" "I'd NEVER" was Tyler's reply. "Yes you will if I use this invention Hojo made for me, the Slave crown." "The slave crown"" asked Tyler puzzled. "Ancient lore speaks of a great ruler name Kefka who controlled people using a slave crown, Hojo has harnessed that power, and so I can do what I want now!" "FUCK" "Now, my new "recruits" first, this beauty is Elena." "ELENA!" "Shut your insolent mouth! Or I will shut it for you!" The president flicked his wrist, casting a mute spell on Tyler "As I was saying.this is Elena, master of the martial arts." Elena walks in, she is in a zombie like trance. "This sword wielder is the one and only Zack.you probably know his friend.Cloud" "And this stubborn little one has no name, mo records, and no loyalty to me.so you have to excuse this "slave" for not being in the best of shape. A man with a long trench coat on. He had bruises everywhere; the whites of his eyes were black. "You.will.never .control.me! The mysterious man yelled at the president and pulled a gun out of his trench coat and shot the president, wounding him. Guards swarm this man and take him down. "You will have to excuse him.now I will take you to your cell" The president ran out of the room to a medic and guards take Tyler to his Cell. Tyler is walked down a row of cells. In the first one, he hears Tifa and Aries talking.Tyler gets perverted thoughts and suddenly gets a massive nosebleed. He notices that Taurean, Nate, and Barret are in the second cell. Tyler then realizes where the guard is taking him. " NO!! NO! NO! Anywhere but in a cell with HIM." His cries go unheard as he is thrown into a cell with Cloud. "Look you, I don't care if we ARE in prison, try anything funny, and you get it" "Hehehe. ONE WINGED ANAL" screams Cloud as he jumps into the air. In the next cell, Taurean is telling Nate about a game he played recently, "so I got this game called Grandia 2 for my DC. There is this move called um.flying tensieken" Tyler yells: (SKYE.TAKE FLIGHT) "yeah.you've seen it Nate?" "I didn't say nothin'." "FLYING TENSEIKEN!!!" Tyler takes his sword and uppercuts the descending Cloud, killing him. The body goes flying into the wall, breaking a hole in it. Taurean and the others look at the dead, mutilated body, and then up at Tyler. "What?" "Eh." Barret looked over at Cloud and immediately started to shoot his corpse rapidity. "Dude.knock it off, you will run out of ammo." Yelled Tyler "What you talking about foo?" "You just put 10 clips of bullets in his corpse!" "I aint no damn princess foo!" "I never said you were.but you need to conserve ammo" "umm.Hey look.an eagle!" Tyler looks to where Barret was pointing. There was nothing there! Tyler looked back and saw that Barret was gone. "Hey.where'd he go? Nate and Taurean were studying clouds corpse when Nate noticed a flap of skin hanging off. Taurean poked it with a stick and a flap of skin fell off.revealing more skin under that. Taurean reached down and pulled the rest of the "skin off" There laid a young boy, not 15, with silver hair and red eyed. "So.the freakin Karou.was.Karou!" pointed out Nate Tyler immediately got a headache. The group went to walk out the door, when they got there, it was locked. "How in the blue hell did Barret get out." "I let him out" was the reply through the cell door" "Who are you?" Asked Tyler "My name is Blixe Cobalt, I heard about you.and I wish to accompany you.I fell I could be useful." "Sure, the more the merrier"  
  
The group with Blixe in tow, headed out to defeat Shinra.but how will it turn out 


End file.
